20T: I haven’t learned a damn thing

Being 5 weeks from when I set my goals I am happy to say that I am now back to my highschool weight (Thanks SouthBeach!) I lost 30 pounds! I have enrolled in dancing lessons and have been trying aimlessly to make new friends...

It was Friday night and we had the guys over for a night of cards. We were playing asshole. So there we were hubby, joe, me, actor friend, and a few more guys. Actor friend and I were sitting across from each other. Spitting out remarks at each other, as we tend to fight like bro and sis in public, mainly to cover up the truth. The game was going really well until actor friend started with those damn eyes again. Those sexy glances, and raised eyebrow poses. We continued back in forth, for the rest of the game, when we found a moment that everyone elses eyes were on their cards, until hubby caught a look. True it was quite bold what we were doing, and looking back quite stupid, but it’s almost like you get lost in the moment, you forget everyone else, and you forget that it’s not ok, even though it feels like it is. Hubby looks at him and then looks at me and was like whats going on here? We just laughed it off and made an excuse about the cards and I accused actor friend of cheating and we left it at that. However I felt hubby wisen up in that moment. You see he was always afraid that I would leave him for his friend Joe, he tells me later that now he thinks I would for actor friend..

So the game comes to a close at about 1:30am and hubby goes to bed leaving me to entertain his friends. The rest of them quit cards and resort to xbox while actor friend and I play another. I was teaching him a new game outloud but between sentances we were whispering a plan for later. He wanted to come back and pick me up after we kicked everyone else out. We kept whispering and talking and tempting each other with erotic phrases while every once in a while Joe would look over thinking he heard something besides game instructions… Actor friend finally talked me into seeing him later (Which would mean 4 in the morning) and I agreed. He said he would text me on my cell when he was downstairs. We were both aching for each other at this point so we canned the game and sent everyone home. Not gonna lie I was totally stoked. I touched up my hair, make up, and perfume and sat waiting with my puppy for his text. I knew that this was right. But I asked myself how far I was willing to go with him.. I had only slept with one man, and it would be a huge deal to me to sleep with two. But after the month I had I figured what the hell. I knew I loved actor friend and I wanted it to bad to deprive myself. Anyways all of that was for nothing, the text never came. I went to bed deeply upset.

He called the next day for hubby letting him know what a great time he had and how he wanted to get together soon, I didn’t know if that was a message actually meant for me or if he was really just over the me and him fling..

I fretted about it all weekend, then found out Sunday night that my phone had been cut off a week ago.

DAMN! It was my fault that Friday night didn’t happen. I was releaved in once sence but so peeved in the over. I cant believe I had missed out! Anyways I called actor friend Monday to clear up what had happened… we didn’t say too much, I’m not sure how to read his phone voice yet… but he’s coming over this Friday.. so I’ll let you know what happens..