20T: Birthday Pains

So it was my birthday on Thursday, 23! Wow I feel so old and mentally I still feel like I'm 17 so new in the world...

Anyways so I was really sick on my birthday, and I had to get medication from the docs, which I started on Wed... so things were going ok, I still didn't feel that good on Friday, actually I had begun to feel cloudy and almost like I was high... by Friday night it had gotton a lot worse but I assumed it was just my meds. So I took my meds right before I went to sleep on Friday night hoping that the meds would wear off by Sat morning as I had adams work brunch to go too and sat night was our big open house.

Well I was right about one thing.. it was the meds... I woke up extremely high and out of it.. hubby calmed me down and got me to go back to sleep. But when I woke up in the morning no affects had left me.. it was much worse. I was still high, dilusional, hullcinating, and shaking. I felt like my brain was bleeding and tingaly all over. I was panicing and that sure as hell didnt help. I told all this to hubby and he told me to have a shower and get ready for his work party. I did but the feelings wernt going away. He said I would feel better once we were on the road.. gullible I got into the car with him and prepared for the hour and a hlaf drive to the place for brunch. 15 minutes into the ride I was in hysterics. I was so scared and creaped out and felt so weird! I thought I was dyiing. I wanted to go home but hubby wouldnt take me. He told me to shut up and relax. I was so upset but so out of it and scared I didnt want to be alone.. anyways I freaked out for the entire trip I tried to stay calm but couldnt. when we go there I went right up to the bar and started drinking. I had drank 5 bottled of water in 10 minutes, trying to get whatever was in my system out.. i asked adam to leave and he wouldnt... it was so horrible. I never hated him so much.. anyways all in all it was ok. talking to people took my mind off my high and drinking water was helping me pee it out but I didnt feel right.. we went home after about 2.5 hours and the ride home was a bit better... I went to lay down when we got home but I kept getting the brain bleed feeling and being all naucous and shaki... people started arriving for my birthday and I was a wreck, and tryig to push back the tears... hubby kept yelling at me to grow up and snap outta it.. i couldnt... anyways when my bestfriend arrived she got on the phone and called the pharmacist.. after about 10 minutes she came over to me and said I was having severe side affects from the meds.. I was having hallunincations and a nervous system breakdown.. I had to eat, drink, and stay warm.. So basically the rest of the night everyone took turns taking care of me. at one point my best friend wanted to drag me to the hospital. and hubby flipped out in front of everyone that I was over reacting and that I was fine.. even tho I was shaking.. he looked like such an asshole... so Joe and Abby (my best friend) took me to the bed room and put me to bed and were sitting with me, and trying to calm me down and make me eat.. actor friend came and visited me a few times, hes had an overdose before and was pretty worried.. he kept bringing me a heating pad and watching the size of my pupils... anyways so I finally got to sleep, Sunday was much better and by Monday morning I was pretty much back to normal... but what a crazy weekend. So here we are on Wednesday and I dont feel right about teh way my hubby treated me.. I'm still pretty upset and scared about it. like how he could be so cold and cruel when I needed him.. anyways so thats that. but our relationship is deff back to rockly ground.

in other news..

when we were packing Joe asked me what happened on the night of the accident, aka what was i doing with actor-friend that night... luckily hubby walked into the room right then and Joe said nevermind.. he knows something was up.. but had the respect to drop it, although I dont think this is the last of this conversation..

also Chad msg me on facebook.. wished me a happy birthday, asked me what was going on, how I was doing... I wrote him back today (a lil over a week later) turns out he will be playing hockey the same place as my hubby on sat nights... we'll see how this goes..


Anyways sorry for all the posts and rambling! Just wanted to update you all! Hope you're all doing well!