20T: Lesson Learned

Alright ladies... this here is my last and final post.. I will be shutting this down at the end of November...

So i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.. about my life, my husband, what I've done, the choices I've made... and I've come to a final conclusion about all the men in my life.

None of them were, are, or will ever be as great as my hubby. Not one kiss was better then our first. Not one touch gives me more butterflies then my husbands. And not one of those guys would I ever want to spend a lifetime with... a few days at most! so in figuring that out, I accept that it is all a lust, not love. and therefore know I have the strength to turn down these opportunities.. not saying it will be easy... even tho my hubby and I go through rough times and can fight really really bad. I love him with all my heart and i would only have kids with him, I really only want him to see me naked, and only him to grow old with.. I will just have to be eye candy only! not a free taste-test..

I'm quite discusted with myself, although what can I do, I just hope I can stay loyal. I would never ever want to hurt him... nor could I live if he ever left me...

So in saying and feeling all of this... I missed three nights out with my hubby and his friends, and they were all apparently asking about it... (its nice to be missed, leave em wanting more baby!) anyways so on Friday my hubby was over at Max's house with the boyz and he begged me to come over... I did.. looking hott as hell! I had a born to reign tshirt on with a pair of black skinny pants... and a jean jacket... i looked like a sexy biker chic,.. anyways within moments of walking in the door all the guys were around me chatten to me, poking fun at me and my outfit, then they took my jean jacket off me and were trying it on... it was nice to be missed, but i walked over to my hubby and landed him a big kiss and sat on his lap... Actor friend then asked if anyone wanted to play cards. I said I was in and everyone else followed suit (no pun intended!) there were 6 girls there and they all left within 5 mins of my arrival, i guess they thought i was competition!

anyways i played with the boys for 2 hours and they poked fun at me the whole time.. then I annouced I was leaving and went to play with Max's dog for a bit, I go a few wines from the boys and a baby eyes look from actorfriend.. he kept mouthing dont leave.. why are u leaving? he came over to talk to me for a minute "going to the bathroom" and i jsut said I was tired but I'd see him next time... ARENT U LADIES PROUD OF ME! anyways next day they had a poken tournie again.. and I didnt go!!

so therefore I will be faithful! I know I can do it! Hope you ladies had a good weekend!