20T: Boundaries

Well where has the time gone.. I can't believe I haven't updated this in almost two weeks... Since we are packing for the big move it's all I can think of! I also sold all of our furniture so I could buy new stuff for our house.. haha I know budget smudgeit.. LOL My house gotta look dope! lol anyways ok ok back to the biz..

Cali friend (Micki) came home! So stoked to have her back, but she hasn't been doing too well.. she's all depressed and what not.. personally I think it's from lack of attention.. which I'm good at getting.. so I invited her out for a night on the town and she wouldnt go!.. like as if!.. she's been over at my house watching movies like crazy.. i am so bored of watching TV! anyways so whatever..

on the weekend hubbys friend moved just down the street from where we bought our house.. crazy! such a stocker... but we all have no idea how he afforded it and all of a sudden up and bought this place.. Anyways his name is Steve.. he somehow always has money and always has a new company.. we think hes full of it.. never the less he had a party on sat nite to celebrate the move..

natch i went with Micki in tow.. or vice-versa she went crazy at the licquor store and was so pumped to go to this party... the party tho was supa dull.. but i'll point out a few highlights... Micki got sick (big shock) and wanted to leave.. as I was walking her out to the cab Actor friend grabs me and says your not leaven are you? I deff felt wanted, specially since we didnt really get a chance to even look at each other all night.. I just raised my eyebrow at him.. said no and walked Micki out to the cab... then when I came in Actor friend was trying to rally up everyone to play cards.. which is our little thing.. we always pretend we're trying to organize a game knowing no one else will play and it will just be us... well played actor-friend, i'm in... so I started playen cards with actor friend and immediatly he asked me about the wedding.. so we were getting right to a hush hush conversation... I totally forgot that was the last time we had communicated.. when I had made a drunken ass out of myself.. anyways i joked about it and mentioned the fact that he missed my big singing performance.. I could tell we were getting ready for a randy conver when hubby came over to join us.. we played cards for a bit.. it was going ok but I started to get really tired! I was poppen Oxy codene (sp?) pills and they were wearing off... NO THAT IS NOT A SERIOUS DRUG! I'M NOT ADDICTED JUST STILL ON A DIET AND GOTTA WATCH MY SUGA LEVELS! anyways so wen actor friend and hubby went outside for a moment I went over to laydown on the couch, which was full.. but Joe (hubbys best friend) was sitten on a chair and shuffled over so I could laydown with him.. and I passed out.. PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP THATS ALL! anyways so when everyone was ready to leave hubby had picked me up to take me home and I woke up only to see Actor friend staring at me with this soft look.. It was so sweet, so hard to explain, it looked like love and hurt and awe'ing. I dono it was like he wanted to be laying with me and was jelous that I was with Joe, but also it looked like he cared and wanted to take care of me.. anyways it was the first time I ever seen him look at me that way... it deff hit a nerve... so as we started out the door actor-friend "casually" mentioned that he couldnt drive.. natch we told him to come crash at our place which he did.. I had a feeling something could happen.. but as soon as I got home I just put on sexy PJs.. went out infront of the boys to "grab a drink" and then I went to bed.. nothing wrong with teasing is there?

Anyways laying with Joe musta really started something with Actor friend, hubby mentioned to me the next day that Actor friend came out and told me that "his wife is sleeping with his best friend" which hubby and i both thought was funny, but I also new that actor-friend was a bit jelouse...

Anyways so all in good fun but I have been dreaming about actor-friend all week. Its driving me crazy.. I think I really love him.. which is so screwed up.. I gotta start putting up boundaries... I think I'm gonna start calling him by his last name again all the guys call him by that and I used to before he asked me to call him by his first name.. its a simple thing but It will just be a reminder that hes off limits.. as well this weekend Steve invited all the boyz over for a poker night with beer and hookers.. lucky me I was on this invitation list... lol anyways i dont think i'm gonna go.. i need to stop hanging out with hubbys friends so often.. it hurts to say that but i gotta, i love hubby were doing so good I dont wana screw it up.. and if i'm gonna screw it up I should go and do it with Chad not with actor friend..

speaking of Chad.. I'm debating weather I should borrow my parents car and go see him.. I really want to show off how fab I look and I want a bit of that kinda excitement that he brings back in my life.. I know maybe a bad idea or maybe just maybe I can leave him wanting me for once.. its a gamble but is it worth it?

So Sat night plans... poker nite with the boyz or can I rally up some girls for a nite on the town and wind up at poker nite? humm this is gonna get interesting.. half naked.. totally in the bag and just me and hubbys friends... what? boundaries? who said anything about those? LOL