20T: I haven’t learned a damn thing

Being 5 weeks from when I set my goals I am happy to say that I am now back to my highschool weight (Thanks SouthBeach!) I lost 30 pounds! I have enrolled in dancing lessons and have been trying aimlessly to make new friends...

It was Friday night and we had the guys over for a night of cards. We were playing asshole. So there we were hubby, joe, me, actor friend, and a few more guys. Actor friend and I were sitting across from each other. Spitting out remarks at each other, as we tend to fight like bro and sis in public, mainly to cover up the truth. The game was going really well until actor friend started with those damn eyes again. Those sexy glances, and raised eyebrow poses. We continued back in forth, for the rest of the game, when we found a moment that everyone elses eyes were on their cards, until hubby caught a look. True it was quite bold what we were doing, and looking back quite stupid, but it’s almost like you get lost in the moment, you forget everyone else, and you forget that it’s not ok, even though it feels like it is. Hubby looks at him and then looks at me and was like whats going on here? We just laughed it off and made an excuse about the cards and I accused actor friend of cheating and we left it at that. However I felt hubby wisen up in that moment. You see he was always afraid that I would leave him for his friend Joe, he tells me later that now he thinks I would for actor friend..

So the game comes to a close at about 1:30am and hubby goes to bed leaving me to entertain his friends. The rest of them quit cards and resort to xbox while actor friend and I play another. I was teaching him a new game outloud but between sentances we were whispering a plan for later. He wanted to come back and pick me up after we kicked everyone else out. We kept whispering and talking and tempting each other with erotic phrases while every once in a while Joe would look over thinking he heard something besides game instructions… Actor friend finally talked me into seeing him later (Which would mean 4 in the morning) and I agreed. He said he would text me on my cell when he was downstairs. We were both aching for each other at this point so we canned the game and sent everyone home. Not gonna lie I was totally stoked. I touched up my hair, make up, and perfume and sat waiting with my puppy for his text. I knew that this was right. But I asked myself how far I was willing to go with him.. I had only slept with one man, and it would be a huge deal to me to sleep with two. But after the month I had I figured what the hell. I knew I loved actor friend and I wanted it to bad to deprive myself. Anyways all of that was for nothing, the text never came. I went to bed deeply upset.

He called the next day for hubby letting him know what a great time he had and how he wanted to get together soon, I didn’t know if that was a message actually meant for me or if he was really just over the me and him fling..

I fretted about it all weekend, then found out Sunday night that my phone had been cut off a week ago.

DAMN! It was my fault that Friday night didn’t happen. I was releaved in once sence but so peeved in the over. I cant believe I had missed out! Anyways I called actor friend Monday to clear up what had happened… we didn’t say too much, I’m not sure how to read his phone voice yet… but he’s coming over this Friday.. so I’ll let you know what happens..

20T: I Wanna Dance

So I signed up for salsa lessons two weeks ago, I've always wanted to learn latin dancing and it's just so damn sexy! It's an all womens class so I figured for once I wouldnt have to worry about dragging my hubby every week and I would maybe make new friends?

I go to my third class tonight. I am also happy to report that I am the thinnest girl there! Perhaps a shallow thing to say, but once you've been a chubby girl.... there is no greater joy then to be back on the other side! So as far as friends go, I have one potential friend from salsa. She has a boyfriend with the same name as my hubby..

Anyways so I've always wanted to go to clubs and look hott and dance hott, so I decided salsa wasnt enough.. much to my husbands demise (we just bought a house and he put me on $100/mo budget. I am used to spending around 15x that) I signed up for hip hop as well and had my first lesson last night. allz I gotta say is I'm bad! haha I really felt I rocked it, considering I was three weeks behind. Needless to say my hubbys not thrilled and wouldn't let me show him my new moves..

Therz also way more girls my age in that class. One of them even gave me her phone number!

Side note: guys its just as hard for us as it is for you to get another girls number..

Anyways so at least these girls were pretty, I can deff see myself going out with them. Once again I hate to be shallow, but my girls have got to be hott! so hopefully as the weeks go on I can "get their numbers" lol

20T: Sunshine after the Rain

So I lost my car in the accident, we do have a second car but it’s a manual. After about a week of serious heart in trying to drive ‘er, I have given up and resorted to taking the bus to work. My commute time has now gone from 20 minutes to 1.5 hours because of where we are located on the bus routes.. Two buses to get to work…

Anyways I didn’t dare complain to hubby as I was the one who smashed the car, even though it wasn’t deliberate or could have been helped. But I was feeling guilty about the actions that preceeded the accident… I also figured taking the bus would give me plenty of time to reflect on my actions and decisions in the past few weeks. This is when I came up with my list of things to accomplish.

First up on the chopping block: friends. Since I work at a University, you would think it would come easy, but after a week and a half of riding the bus.. I was getting desperate. Then one day it all changed. I was sorely depressed about not knowing how to meet new people, this is a hard task in itself. We were all smushed onto the bus and I got in and some brunette started yapping away to me about how the bus is a great way to meet people. I could tell that was just what she was trying to do. However I snuffed out that she was a first year and quite a bit under my maturity level. The bus doors opened again and this pretty blonde came on board. Instantly I felt that we could be great friends, but much too shy to talk to her I just moved down the line to make room. The brunette still yapping in my ear about rainbows and sunshine.. Then outta nowhere the blonde asked me about my nails. Was she starting a conversation with me? I was so surprised.. and we started chatten away, and she was a fourth year and blah blah. As she was about to get off the bus, she introduced herself as “ella” and pointed at me, “haden” I replied. “Hopefully we’ll bump into each other again” she said as the bus doors closed. Man I was like a fat kid in the candy store! Had I just possibly maybe met a potential friend? YES!!! I can do this! I can meet people! Seriously I was so excitied, I didn’t mind that I had to sit in the rain for 35 minutes while waiting for the second bus to come. My life is finally going to change.

And as far as the sunshine after the rain.. I may have lost my car, but hubby and I bought a house!! We move in Dec 1st!!